remember

• fellow person in the store
• almost went to her checkout line
• as i passed by, her body was turned toward me, heart seemed open
• i was about to go there then saw a family was at register
• i balked, went past
• as i bounced i realized they were almost done but i was on to self-checkout
• as i was at the self-checkout, i was feeling like wow this machine is so much less good than a person
• could feel my energy draining
• could feel my overall brittleness, over-selfisolation
• felt as if the person was beaming attention my way, maybe support
• "i see you"
• i tried to interact back, psychically
• words in my head felt brittle too, overly polite or weak or trying to put up a good show, competent self-sufficient adult show
• just had to sigh and accept the message
• feel my state deeper in my bones
• no response appropriate or needed
• felt safer, more nurtured, more content as i left
• sat in my car resting
• trying to keep it awake
• the sense of being seen
• the sense of being good
• the sense of being worth caring for